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Broadcast, Cynics, Depression, Discretion, Emotions, Facebook, Facebook Official, Friends, Happiness, Health, Information, Internet, Mark Zuckerberg, Mood, Notifications, Relationship, Sharing, Social Networking, Status, TMI, Twitter, Updates
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I’m concerned. I think Facebook has turned myself and a huge proportion of its users into cynics. Classic status updates which I’m sure virtually everyone has seen from time to time include: ‘I’m bored’; ‘At least I now know who my real friends are!’; ‘So tired’; ‘What a rubbish day’. My favourite ones go something like this: ’So annoyed right now!!!’, to which someone responds by asking what’s wrong only to be told not to worry about it.
Has documenting every detail of our lives turned us slightly miserable? Or just a bit boring? Or is it that we are finding it more acceptable to broadcast our mood, good or bad, to hundreds of people? Our activities too, we seem more prepared to share. I found myself tweeting something about my sandwich yesterday. I then realised that no one actually cared about my sandwich.
(Photo credit: epSos.de)
Facebook is also used to gauge whether romantic relationships are ‘serious’ or not. New to our vocabulary is the term ‘Facebook official’ – changing your relationship status to ‘into a relationship’, making it public for the world to see. I’ve been asked if my relationship is Facebook official, and I was left with the impression that there is a great deal riding on a little click of a button. A bit unnerving.
I enjoy Facebook; I may even be one of those really annoying Facebook users (take the plank out of thine own eye and all of that), but the more I think about it the more bizarre I find Facebook, Twitter, and the information people are revealing to the world.
I’ve had internal battles with myself over the content I post on my blog: how much info is too much info? I write about rare medical conditions, a highly personal topic which requires a lot of inward scrutiny regarding what I am happy to publish for anyone to view. I’m comfortable with what I’ve posted, but a lot of thought goes into each post, and I try to leave at least 24 hours between writing and publishing to ensure I won’t regret what I’ve written.
I neither resent the individuals who write status updates like the above, or think they waste my time (the examples I’ve shown aren’t taken any time recently from my friendship list on Facebook, if at all, just to clarify to those who have been directed to this post via Facebook!). I just wonder why we feel the need to share such thoughts and feelings.
I have recently been reading around the correlation between Facebook usage and one’s mood (a new study claims that those of us on Facebook are more likely to be unhappy compared to those who aren’t using the social site). It got me thinking.
I’ve considered deleting my account many times, but, although it’s difficult to admit, I really do enjoy Facebook, especially since I’ve become housebound – I’ve found it a comfort to read that life does go on. However, when I see a depressing update I can’t help but feel ever so slightly miffed myself, And similarly when I see an update that expresses someone’s happiness, it genuinely make me happy too. We feed off people’s emotions, and that’s just human nature.
I’ve therefore made the decision to pay extra attention to my Internet footprint to ensure I will regret nothing in the future.
Love this! I have thought about deleting my facebook for awhile but I can’t seem to let it go. These days it’s full of political posts and the personal thoughts of some very unstable people that should probably keep some of those thoughts to themselves. (maybe it’s just my “friends”?). You’re right, we do feed of people’s emotions and those few times I come across a positive post it really makes my day!
We should take a stand and post something uplifting on Facebook each week
every little helps! I don’t think the speed and ease of publishing posts on Facebook/Twitter encourages people to think things through really, which is something I’m sure we could all do more!
I learned that I spent way too much time living vicariously off the lives of “friends” on Facebook. Because of something that happened to me there, I had to leave and delete my profile, thinking many of the friends I’d made there would seek me out. I was shocked to learn only a handful cared to stay in touch. What I had to learn, the hard way, was that the “friends” you think you made on a site like Facebook aren’t really friends.
I am glad I cut off all ties with Facebook, and am glad I’ve reconnected with friends in other ways.
There’s an awful lot to say for bringing back other forms of communication – getting a phone call off a friend means so much more than a message on Facebook, but having said that I’m open to all forms of communication! My brother lives the other side of the world, and in that situation Facebook is great because I can see what he’s up to and have more contact with him than if we didn’t have Facebook. It’s much easier. Facebook is still insanely annoying though!
A great post, and it’s so true. I gave up Facebook for a month, and the results were really interesting; a) I missed out on some pretty big events within my friendship group – I hadn’t responded to the email, but nobody thought to phone me b) after a while I didn’t miss it c) I was actually really hesitant about checking it again and it was a massive anti-climax d) I think I felt calmer – I’m a self confessed ‘stalker’ and with my means of stalking gone I think my mind got a grip! Maybe I should ditch it again… xxx
That’s so interesting! I’d love to be able to do that, I think I would end up loving a Facebook-free life, but the temptation to ‘just check’ would always be looming over me. I’m not really sure what I’d be checking for either! Two questions. Do you think you will delete it again? And also, how long did it take until you didn’t miss it again, what made you forget about it? xxx
I must admit it did take a good week or so before the urge to ‘just check it’ subsided. I had to delete the app from my phone and remove all traces from my internet history just so that it wasn’t easy to go to out of habit. It scared me though because I realised just how often I use it, first thing in the morning, if I’m waiting for something, as a distraction from what I’m meant to be doing…how sad is that?! I actually felt quite liberated. After about three weeks I was feeling really proud of myself, it was genuinely like I’d kicked a habit! I’d like to think that I’d be able to delete it again, but the trouble is, and it is so sad to even think this, but I think I’d miss out on too much – Facebook seems to have become too important; it’s one of the few ways in which people communicate, and people assume they don’t have to tell you things in conventional ways because everyone will know if they just check their newsfeed. Suddenly getting in touch with people say from school via text or something just seems creepy, like a massive invasion of privacy or a sign that you must be obsessed with them…i remember the days when you could just phone a male friend for a chat, but now it seems that that’s far too intimate, and you can get all you need to know from your news feed. Wow, that was a long reply, sorry! In short, I’d love to but I think you’ve got to prepare for this kind of thing and make sure people know how to contact you…nobody wants to be forgotten through a lack of social media. xxx
But isn’t that crazy how massive it’s become in a relatively short space of time! I’ve only had Facebook for five years and the speed at which it’s overtaken all other forms of communication is slightly creepy in itself… I’m very impressed with how you ditched it. I think I might give it up for lent, just to see how it feels. I wonder why it’s so addictive. It’s obvious in so many ways, checking up on friends, seeing what people are up to who you haven’t seen in a while, but there’s something more to it than that. I don’t know what it is yet, but I would love to find out! I was going to write my dissertation on this before I left Cardiff! xxx
Great post. I have a Fan page for a group I run which allows me to use Facebook in a more ‘professional’ way. I of course have a personal page in order to have the Fan page but I rarely use it. But, I do find I caught up in the whole competitive blogging thing. I’ve got to write more, get more followers, do this do that!!!! And then everything else falls to the way side and then days pass and I don’t get anything important done. I do try to really control when I’m online. Like after 8pm or something like that. Still trying to manage it to where it doesn’t control my life. I think for many Facebook/social media is just a love/hate relationship. And, many, myself included can get sucked into this notion of ‘their lives are so much better, whaaa’. That’s when I know it’s time to get off and go hug a human (preferably someone I know) or go out into the sunlight, anything. However, I am glad I grew up in a time when there was no Facebook/internet. I don’t know what I’d be like if I was born into this madness. :O
Yes I can’t imagine what it would be like to grow up in the age of Facebook! I struggle when I see so many photos of babies on my newsfeed, because I know that I would have hated having every moment of my life documented on the internet! Baby photos are embarrassing enough without the world seeing them before you have! I do understand it from a parent’s point of view though, because their babbers are all so lovely and cute
This is a really interesting and intelligent post – the way I work (and think!) I would see some status updates as a negative statement which when read – goes straight into your subconscious (nice!) and triggers all those negative patterns you have or had. It simply creates more of the same.
Like attracts like.
So… I try to avoid facebook (I have a business page only for now,) and stick to positive people on twitter and on here.
Thanks for this post it’s great!
I think that’s so true! I’ve recently learnt the power of the ‘hide’ button, so I’m free of those those repeat negative status offenders (I do feel a bit mean though, but needs must!) The more I think about this post and the feedback I’ve had the more I’m considering giving up Facebook for an experiment and see what happens!
lol well let me tell you what happened when I got rid of my personal facebook account – I felt FREE, seriously, it made a MASSIVE difference. I also, sometime later, got rid of my TV – again – HUGE difference to my mental health.
That said….
The internet and social networking sites can really be a lifeline to people and do have a valid place, especially if you are housebound at the moment. I don’t know about you, but personally I find wordpress to be the most positive, supportive social network I have ever took part in – I have only been blogging for a month and already have lots of positive supportive followers who genuinely listen to what I have to say (and hopefully benefit) and write blogs I actually want to read!
So there ARE places on-line that can and will nourish you – it’s just about being selective.
That’s what I think!
Very true! I love WordPress, it’s given me a new lease of life with a new interest. Plus, blogging is incredibly addictive! There is lots to think about regarding Facebook, and I’ve only scratched the surface
I too find comfort in social media. I like the idea of being able to share thoughts, pictures and other media with the people in my life quickly and easily. Social media is also changing the way we manage social activism and awareness, I think, for the better. Re: the Zuckerburg quote, True.
Thank you for your comment
I think that embracing social media is much better in the long run because it’s just getting more and more powerful, more integral to our daily lives; resisting it may be more damaging to our happiness than just going with the flow. We don’t have a choice about whether or not social media and the internet will become more powerful, but we do have a choice about how to manage our ‘internet experience’, and thank god for that!
Agreed. The future is now and resisting it is futile. May as well make the most of it!